Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Of Sleeptalking and Cyborg Zombies

I fly home tomorrow. Which is awesome but means I have to go on an airplane, my mortal enemy. So humor me and let me distract myself from the thoughts of the metal death machines.

Joe is rather flighty and often instead of throwing away empty containers when they're done, he puts them back wherever they once belonged when they actually contained food. It is not uncommon for me to discover empty Wheat Thins boxes in the pantry and empty bags or abandoned tupperwares in the fridge. It doesn't annoy me that much except when the one thing in the world that will make me happy is a triscuit and for one glorious moment I think I'll soon be eating a triscuit before discovering the box is empty. Sometimes this happens during midterms and I have a nervous breakdown.

So when I found a bag that once held couscous in the pantry, I wasn't that surprised. It was the same pantry which usually holds sesame oil, which I was looking for and couldn't find. This ensued:

Me: Hey Joe, I found an empty couscous bag in the pantry.
Joe: Really? I thought I threw that out.
Me: No, definitely not. Have you seen the sesame oil? I can't find it.
Joe: Oh, it's in the cabinet. I just used it.
Me: I don't think it is.
Joe: Let me look. Hm, I guess not. Where did I put it?
Me: *jokingly* Maybe you threw it out.
Joe: *looks at trash* Oh. I did.
Me: So instead of throwing out an empty bag you threw out a perfectly good bottle of oil?
Joe: Yes.

We can clearly never have children. He'll lose them or trade them for beans and forget to tell me.

Here's a slightly more endearing Joe quality: he often talks in his sleep. A lot of times it's pure gibberish but he pronounces it with such passion that it almost sounds like he's saying something really profound. Like he's trying to say, "This morning I woke up and the sun was the most perfect shade of peach!" but instead he says, "Zammboga blar mumble dom!"

While we're at it, here's your very last BJ quote until next January:

BJ: Just you guys wait until I build a cyborg zombie. You'll be all, "Oh, that's not scary, a zombie can't run fast." WRONG. And you'll say, "Don't worry, zombies can't punch through walls." WRONG.

BJ really loves cyborg zombies. Merry christmas?

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