Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Adventures in Nowhereland

Alright, alright,I suck. I was in a baking and blogging rut and that was even before I got the Virus of Death and couldn't move for a week. I've only recently gotten back into it so forgive me.

First off, I found some long lost photos of stuff I baked about nine million years ago so I thought I would post that stuff first.

This is stuff from when Joe and I visited my dad last summer. My dad lives in Nowheresville, Alaska. On top of a hill. Half an hour from anything. Of course, the closest establishments are a couple bars because Alaskans cannot physically be 50 feet away from alcohol at any time without having a stroke. Whenever I visit we end up cooking, baking and watching ancient B-list horror movies and occasionally we slink into town to replenish supplies.

In between movies, I made thumbprint cookies filled with apricot jam and pecan caramel clusters. Joy of Baking succeeds again, these were lovely.

We usually stay in a cabin my grandparents used to live in, which is quaint and mildly creepy. My dad's old room give me major heebie jeebies, which I discovered when I was younger and my dad kindly let me sleep in his old room while he slept on the couch upstairs. The room is the basement, below ground, and is completely devoid of heat and light. I had vivid, horrible nightmares for two nights straight when normally I can't remember my dreams at all. After the second night I told my dad, "That room is creepy, I couldn't sleep and had nightmares all night." to which he casually replied, "Yeah, that room is kind of haunted." THANKS DAD.

The room still freaks me out but luckily I ensnared a man to share the room with me and I figure the monsters will eat Joe first as he's bigger. Though I do have more meat on my bones. SHUT UP BRAIN.

You try to sleep in a room that in plastered in this wallpaper:

(shrill violins) REEEE!



Last time we went to visit my dad, I went to go take a bath when I spied an enormous spider hanging out in the tub. I promptly turned around and told Joe to dispose of it before I cried and like obedient monster bait, he flushed it down the drain. After I took my bath and was drying off, I told my dad that a mutant enormo-spider had been living in his bathroom and he said, "Oh, that little guy? Yeah, I let him chill out in there and just move him when I need to take a shower." And I was like um yes, that's totally normal and then I found Joe and whispered in a panic, "Joe, I think we just killed my dad's pet spider!" But because mutant enormo-spider is apparently also a indestructible spider robot, it crawled out of the drain unscathed and I didn't have to break it to my dad that I had killed his roommate to take a bubble bath.

Anyway. I also made spice pecan brittle. It was supposed to turn out as candied pecans but it um, didn't. Even though, I wanted to marry it, I love sweet pecan candy.

I didn't love the recipe I based this on, I actually had to remelt the batch to get it to the right consistency. But it worked out alright in the end.

So that's what I did while trying to survive the haunted basement. I think there's a reason all these horror films are coming out based in Alaska. No daylight in winter? Everlasting daylight in summer? Cabin in the middle of nowhere? Small room with wallpaper that was designed under the influence of acid? I should just write the screenplay now and make millions.


Katy ~ said...

...waiting for the screenplay...

in the meantime, your photos and recipes look divine.

Once again, you leave me weak with laughter.

I think perhaps a horror/comedy...

alaskagrrrL said...

Mama says, never sleep in a creepy basement with even creepier wallpaper! Plot suggestions: I think the characters on the wall should COME ALIVE at night and go after all your delicious baked goods, or maybe try to extract your recipes directly from your brain. Once again, I command you to make these items for yours truly when you come home. Where YOU get to sleep on the couch!