Mood swings? I WILL CUT YOU.

6/30/12 – about 11 weeks

My trip to California went much better than imagined. Or much worse, depending on how you look at it. My flying anxiety was much lower than usual, though I think this was because I was so nauseated (a charming combination of morning sickness and motion sickness) and sleep deprived that my body didn’t have the energy to produce adrenaline.

 We took a couple red eyes, each flight several hours long. And despite the fact that I was too busy drooling and chanting a mantra of DO NOT THROW UP IN PUBLIC, DO NOT THROW UP IN PUBLIC to claw the walls off the plane as per usual, I still couldn’t sleep a wink. Even pumped full of my usual sedatives, I normally can’t sleep on airplanes. Every single bump, tremor or small noise makes me jump ten feet out of my seat while I instantly imagine ten different fiery deaths. I insist on sitting in the window seat on each flight so at the very least I can make sure that weird buzzing noise wasn’t an engine falling off or that the series of turbulence did not in fact dislodge a wing.

So by flight number 2, I hadn’t slept at all and was so nauseated that I feared an Exorcist-like vomiting scenario. For the first time in years, I searched out the little complimentary barf bags and was disturbed that they were both miniscule and seemingly made of tissue paper. Not reassuring. Thankfully somewhere on the second flight my body gave out and I passed out for an hour or so, with brief moments of, “OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT WE ARE CERTAINLY GOING TO DI- ZZZzzzzzz…”

And then we drove to San Francisco to visit my sister, where I’m sure any “baby weight” I’ve gained to this point is really just a collection of the alarming amount of pizza I ate.

While my morning sickness hasn’t gotten any better or worse in intensity, I have been able to tolerate a wider variety of foods. Which is to say, more than dry toast and SpaghettiOs. I’ve even eaten the occasional vegetable! Very exciting.

Other than the nausea, I’m still fairly comfortable and feeling pretty non-pregnant. I do get tired more easily but it also doesn’t help that the magic nausea medication I ritualistically take is a ¼ tablet of doxylamine, otherwise known as the over the counter sleep medication, Unisom. So obviously it makes me sleepy, especially if I’m having a particularly bad morning and have to re-dose in the AM. Combine that with the whole growing another human being thing and yeah, I’m tired.

I’ve only had a few of the fabled mood swings. I think anyway, Joe may tell you differently. I am more emotional in general and any commercial involving a baby instantly makes my eyes well up. But any huge emotional 180’s have been more rare. The big one that comes to mind was a couple weeks ago on a weekend, where I suddenly became paralyzed with depression for no apparent reason. Joe convinced me to crawl from my fetal position on the couch to the bedroom, where I cried and then took a nap and felt a lot better.

Anyways hoping I’ll feel a little better once the first trimester ends, at least a little less puke-y. Please keep all your anecdotes about women who have morning sickness their entire pregnancy to yourself, I really don’t want to consider that a possibility and might be forced to do you bodily harm. See? No mood swings at all.

Morning sickness, you wretched beast

6/14/12 – About 9 weeks pregnant

So was MIA for a while there because right on schedule at 5 weeks pregnant the morning sickness kicked in and I’ve spent most of my time focusing on not vomiting. I’ve worked out a medication regimen that at least takes the edge off. I still can’t be near anything food related until about noon without wanting to die but at least I’m not throwing up constantly. The other day I forgot to take my medicine and promptly threw up multiple times. Lesson learned.

People have asked me if I’ve been craving anything, to which I say HAHAHAHA. NO. DO NOT WANT FOOD EVER AGAIN.

Mostly I eat bland carbs. Cheesy carbs are especially good. I ate one of those awful frozen mac and cheeses the other day and thought I had died and gone to heaven. Bland!  Carb-y! Reminiscent of cheese! Mushy to the point of predigested! Perfect.

I usually eat a pretty healthy diet but for the last month I haven’t been able to look at a vegetable without dry heaving. So I’m eating a very balanced diet of bread and cheese. Good thing they make you take a multivitamin. All the morning sickness info I’ve read basically says look, just eat what you can eat and don’t worry about it. The baby will just steal from your own bodily stores! Great. Thieving, thieving babies…

Here is what the little cupcake looked like when we first checked in, by the way. Good news, honey, we are gestating a gummy bear! 

In other news, told most of the extended family as well the past week or so. Last night we went out to dinner with Joe’s extended family and told them there. Well, Joe told them there. It was extraordinarily loud and half the family was at a different table next to us. So Joe eventually went over to the other table and shouted that I was pregnant, possibly using hand gestures to illustrate his point. And I’m sure everybody swung around to look at me, where I was probably grimacing and poking glumly at some soup. The vision of motherhood! Everybody was like, “Congratulations!!” to which I said, “Thanks. Please stop making sudden movements.”

Joe and I go to California tonight, part vacation and part work so I’m looking forward to that. Except for the Xanax-less plane ride, since Xanax is verboten during pregnancy. Which is a huge bummer for me. And Joe too, since my nails are quite sharp and last time we hit turbulence while flying together I about clawed Joe’s arm off.  The last time I hit turbulence solo I quickly calculated the maximum dosage of Xanax I could consume without causing organ damage and then chugged that back immediately. And then I don’t remember anything after that. AND IT WAS DELIGHTFUL.

In short, I really hate flying and am not at all basking in the joys of pregnancy. Fingers crossed, I should feel better in a couple weeks. Until then, you will find me in a fetal position on my couch, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and trying not to drool on my pillow too much.