Monday, September 17, 2012

22 weeks: In which I gestate an eggplant

I am so committed to this process that I got up and put on pants to take my weekly belly picture. That, my friends, is called DEDICATION.

Though that took all my motivation and I can't be bothered to come up with anything else. Here's belly update and survey instead.

How far along? 22 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: something like 12 or 13 lbs
Maternity clothes? A few things. Definitely growing fond of elastic.
Stretch marks? No. Though I have begun to liberally grease my body is assorted potions in attempts to avoid that.
Sleep: Sleeping well, except for the whole peeing every 30 seconds thing.
Best moment this week: My birthday was last week so I was generally fawned upon, which I support 100%. Also Joe finished painting the nursery, though I can’t remember if that was last week or not. 
Miss Anything? Sushi, a normal bladder capacity.
Movement: Oh yes. Peapod enjoys soothing me back to sleep after my midnight bathroom breaks by slamming repeatedly into my uterus.
Food cravings: Nothing unusual. Still fond of peanut butter, fruit, cheese. And unicorn blood. Just seeing if you're paying attention.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Depends. Things have calmed down A LOT but still am turned off a lot of time by protein, raw vegetables… Basically anything that is not a refined carbohydrate will turn me off at one time or another. Coffee and black tea I can’t do at all.
Have you started to show yet: I mean, this weight has to have collected SOMEWHERE. There is some definite pudge action happening but that's about it. Which begs the terrifying question, where am I storing this 12 lbs if not on my belly? Wait, don't answer that. 
Gender prediction: Unless my ultrasound tech was on mind altering drugs, we are sticking with boy.
Labor Signs: Nay. Can I have a surrogate just for the labor bit please?
Belly Button in or out? In. I bought one of those hilarious pregnancy belly button rings that looks like its made out of a flexible straw after my co-worker told me a horrific story about how her pregnancy ripped her belly button piercing nearly completely out but so far things are looking pretty normal. 
Wedding rings on or off? Off, though only because I developed a weird rash on my ring finger. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Generally pretty emotionally stable. Except when I make pie crust, which always sends me into a murderous rage.
Looking forward to: Actually appearing legitimately pregnant. 

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