Monday, October 15, 2012

26 Weeks: True crime novels > baby books

10/15/12 – 26 weeks pregnant

My big pregnancy announcement this week is the somewhat mortifying fact that at 6 1/2 months pregnant, I weigh the same as I did at my heaviest weight in college, so more or less 15 lbs from my starting weight. The weight I gained in college was not the typical “freshman fifteen” caused by too much cafeteria pizza. The cafeteria could keep its shitty pizza.  Rather, my weight gain can be directly correlated to when I moved in with Joe and started eating all my meals with him.

Unfortunately, Joe is a great cook and I liked his cooking far more than the cafeteria’s. Which, by the way, is not difficult when your friendly college cafeteria sets out boiled shrimp with the heads still on in the salad bar. The best part was, there was a jaunty little sign that accompanied it that proudly announced, "Locally grown!" Right, because Cleveland, Ohio is famous for its locally grown shrimp and that's not at all creepy and disgusting! It's not like your lake once caught on fire or anything. Oh wait...

Anyway, it turns out that a 5-foot girl shouldn’t eat college-boy sized portions of risotto and garlic pasta every day. Oh, and when you go to Hawaii with your boyfriend? You should probably not eat macadamia nut pancakes every day.  Daily fried cake breakfasts do not go well with your bikini, Sophie.

Luckily, I got my act together pretty quickly and lost that weight. But I must say it was a lot more fun to be this weight while happily eating massive helpings of pasta than it is to be this weight and dry heaving when I see a cracker. I mean, C’MON.

In other news, I’m trying to make up for my complete lack of baby gear by reluctantly starting to read What to Expect the First Year again. I started it, than traded it for Helter Skelter, a grisly 700-page account of the Manson murders.  Why? BECAUSE I FOUND IT SLIGHTLY LESS TERRIFYING THAN CHAPTER 2 OF WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST YEAR. Which could probably be subtitled, “You should probably just give up now. Also, how is your anti-depressant supply?”.

I’m sure my birthing class will be just as soothing, right? 


alaskagrrrL said...

Okay, motherly reality check: you are TINY and that 15 lbs. is clearly the psychological weight of impending parenthood. Here is what helps with the first year of becoming a mom: crazy hormones and sleep deprivation (dads mostly only get this part). The first bonds you to your offspring like crazy glue and causes you to believe they are the most wonderful, beautiful thing in the universe--scratch that, the ONLY thing in the universe--even when to everyone else they look like a naked monkey and sound like a Siamese cat. The sleep deficit makes you not care about things like your own personal hygiene or leaving your home. In other words, you WILL be able to take care of the baby because you won't be able to think about anything else. See? It's EASY!

Jenny said...

Plus, there's all that crying to remind you "hey, lady, feed me/change me/pick me up!" They don't really let you forget their presence.
And wow, 15lbs is nothing. You'll probably be pre-pregnancy weight after your first wee. You're not fat, you're making a baby!