Sophie's first "Mother's" day

5/13/12

Joe and I decided to gather our immediate family for a mother’s day brunch and tell everybody I’m pregnant then.  We didn’t exactly plan how we were going to announce it, so Joe just said, “So we have some big news…” and then looked pointedly at me. Except at that exact moment I was busily shoving a chocolate tart in my mouth so he was forced to finish the big announcement.

Everybody was happy for us, which was a little weird for me really. I guess I never got over growing up with the message, “DON’T GET PREGNANT!!”  I was like really? You guys aren’t going to disown me?

Still feeling normal except for cravings for a salt lick. My TV snack as of late is a big jar of capers. Also picked up a Costco sized jar of pickles so my blood pressure should be through the roof in no time.

In other news, I made the mistake of telling Joe that they blastocyte is about the size of a poppy seed right now and now he looks at me in terror whenever I make a sudden movement. The does not bode well for the next 8 months.

It's official

5/12/12 – a little over 4 weeks pregnant

Blood tests came back very much positive and my nurse practitioner is pleased with how everything looks. It’s official: I’m pregnant! WHAT?

Joe was in favor of waiting until after the first trimester to tell friends and family so we could make sure everything was truly okay. While I do want to wait to tell the world (meaning Facebook) it’s just not reasonable to wait that long to tell immediate friends and family. We’ve gone to several family dinners in the last week and of course everybody asks if anything is new with Joe and I. And Joe and I look at each other in a panic and go, “HAHA NOTHING NEW WHY WOULD YOU ASK? DEFINITLEY NOTHING LIFE CHANGING. SOPHIE IS DEFINITELY NOT GROWING A BABY.” It’s torture.

Little Baby Mintzensop

5/6/12: 3 weeks pregnant

One thing I’ve learned is that when you’re trying to get pregnant you pee on way more devices than you would care to admit. I also learned that you pay mucho dinero for the privilege of peeing on these little sticks.  I had to resort to buying the less sexy looking ovulation and pregnancy tests in bulk from Amazon so as not to bankrupt myself. My most recent adventures on peeing-on-a-stick have resulted in 2 little lines. Introducing: little baby Mintzensop.

… Or as I like to say to say at this point, the little blastocyte. The blastocyte is the collection of cells that will eventually become an embryo, which then becomes a fetus etc etc. Blastocyte is easier to digest than baby. Denial, maybe? I’m not pregnant; I just have this little collection of cells the size of a poppy seed!  DON’T RUSH ME, BLASTOCYTE.

Another bonus is that “blastocyte” sounds like a Pokemon. Definite plus.

Joe and I recently moved into our own little casa, which meant that for the first time, having a baby would be semi-reasonable. Which is good, because my ovaries have been screaming, "WE CAN HAZ BABY NOW?!" at me for several years. So we talked it over and decided yeah, having a baby now would be as good as a time as ever. And eventually I did indeed get pregnant. Which is kind of dumbfounding and terrifying, though we wanted it very much. I can really only sum it up in the following words: SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

As far as symptoms, I really don’t have anything yet. I was really bloated for a few days but let’s be honest, that was probably just the entire head of broccoli that I ate. Probably more telling is that cottage cheese with Tabasco sounds oddly appealing and everything on Pinterest makes me cry. Mostly I feel like a lame super hero, where my power is the ability to make two lines appear on some overpriced scraps of plastic.

Nothing is official yet. Though I could probably pee on two-dozen pregnancy tests and get all positives, I refuse to believe anything until I get the results of my blood test back. Blood seems like a way more legit form of bodily fluid for some reason. Maybe because I’m a nurse so I’m like pee, whatever. Blood? Now we’re talking!

In the meantime, we are keeping hush-hush about it, which is kind of agonizing. I just want to walk around wearing one of those sandwich boards that reads, “I’M PREGNANT!!” while high fiving strangers. In this fantasy I am also a skilled breakdancer. But we will wait and I will write instead. And watch episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Stay tuned.