Adventures in Nowhereland

Alright, alright,I suck. I was in a baking and blogging rut and that was even before I got the Virus of Death and couldn't move for a week. I've only recently gotten back into it so forgive me.

First off, I found some long lost photos of stuff I baked about nine million years ago so I thought I would post that stuff first.

This is stuff from when Joe and I visited my dad last summer. My dad lives in Nowheresville, Alaska. On top of a hill. Half an hour from anything. Of course, the closest establishments are a couple bars because Alaskans cannot physically be 50 feet away from alcohol at any time without having a stroke. Whenever I visit we end up cooking, baking and watching ancient B-list horror movies and occasionally we slink into town to replenish supplies.

In between movies, I made thumbprint cookies filled with apricot jam and pecan caramel clusters. Joy of Baking succeeds again, these were lovely.

We usually stay in a cabin my grandparents used to live in, which is quaint and mildly creepy. My dad's old room give me major heebie jeebies, which I discovered when I was younger and my dad kindly let me sleep in his old room while he slept on the couch upstairs. The room is the basement, below ground, and is completely devoid of heat and light. I had vivid, horrible nightmares for two nights straight when normally I can't remember my dreams at all. After the second night I told my dad, "That room is creepy, I couldn't sleep and had nightmares all night." to which he casually replied, "Yeah, that room is kind of haunted." THANKS DAD.

The room still freaks me out but luckily I ensnared a man to share the room with me and I figure the monsters will eat Joe first as he's bigger. Though I do have more meat on my bones. SHUT UP BRAIN.

You try to sleep in a room that in plastered in this wallpaper:

(shrill violins) REEEE!

REEE! REEE!

REE! REEE! REE! THE BEARS! THE BEARS!

Last time we went to visit my dad, I went to go take a bath when I spied an enormous spider hanging out in the tub. I promptly turned around and told Joe to dispose of it before I cried and like obedient monster bait, he flushed it down the drain. After I took my bath and was drying off, I told my dad that a mutant enormo-spider had been living in his bathroom and he said, "Oh, that little guy? Yeah, I let him chill out in there and just move him when I need to take a shower." And I was like um yes, that's totally normal and then I found Joe and whispered in a panic, "Joe, I think we just killed my dad's pet spider!" But because mutant enormo-spider is apparently also a indestructible spider robot, it crawled out of the drain unscathed and I didn't have to break it to my dad that I had killed his roommate to take a bubble bath.

Anyway. I also made spice pecan brittle. It was supposed to turn out as candied pecans but it um, didn't. Even though, I wanted to marry it, I love sweet pecan candy.

I didn't love the recipe I based this on, I actually had to remelt the batch to get it to the right consistency. But it worked out alright in the end.

So that's what I did while trying to survive the haunted basement. I think there's a reason all these horror films are coming out based in Alaska. No daylight in winter? Everlasting daylight in summer? Cabin in the middle of nowhere? Small room with wallpaper that was designed under the influence of acid? I should just write the screenplay now and make millions.

Is it caramel? Is it toffee? It is... delicious.

First off, Happy Mother's Day this Sunday! Cheers to my mommy and grandmamas. My mom was bugging me for a blog update so this can be part one of her present. The rest will arrive later.

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. My finals were last week so I was either studying, feeling bad about not studying or trying to not have a panic attack prior to the finals. Which doesn't allow much time for baking. Not many more updates the rest of this month either: after today I'll be traveling, moving and will be on vacay until June! I already did the Daring Bakers challenge which I'll post on the 27th so check back for that.

Joe and I are taking a mini trip to Washington, D.C this week. I've never been and Joe has a family friend there and hence: mini trip. We decided to bring hostess gifts to Joe's friends so Joe made bread and I was assigned to make something sweet. My options were kind of limited, we've packed most of my baking supplies except for cookie sheets. Cookies seemed kind of boring though so I pulled out The Sweet Life for unique ideas.

The Sweet Life has tons of unique (and delicious) dessert recipes, including a few candy recipes that I had yet to try. After narrowing down the list of things that can be made in a baking sheet, Joe convinced me to try the almond honey caramel chews. Despite the fact that we had neither honey or almonds. But dreams cannot be deterred! As long as you have $15 to spend on the extra supplies.


These were fairly easy to make, especially if you've made caramels before. These were a little different than anything I've made though because you make the caramel in pot over the oven (traditional), pour it into a pan (yawn) and then BAKE it. Odd. It worked though. Well, I'm not sure what worked because I'm not sure what putting them in the oven accomplishes. But um, they turned out.

These were good but need tweaking, I think. If I were to make them again, I would cook the caramel a little longer but I like a chewier caramel. I would also add more salt (maybe even on top, a la sea salt caramels), add vanilla and not add the two full sticks of butter. My candies came out greasy so I would definitley scale back on the butter, maybe even only one. Yes, ONLY ONE STICK and several cups of heavy cream. Practically diet food.

This would make a great holiday gift though because it's fairly simple, yummy and makes a TON. You could switch up the nuts too, I would do with pecans because I luuuuurve pecans. Pecans are really the only nut I like, actually. Other nuts I find kind of 'meh' with peanuts (though this technically not a nut, eh? Why not call it the 'pealegume' if its actually a legume, scientists?) and brazil nuts at the bottom of the list. Brazil nuts are just wrong, they are what I imagine bits of hardwood floor taste like. The most disturbing part is that despite that they taste like stale wood chips, I occasionally still crave them. Welcome to my brain. It is a strange place.

For the first time, I actually found the recipe online so I don't feel bad about posting it and you can all enjoy the deliciousness that is The Sweet Life. Check out the recipe here.

I will leave you with this Brian quote before I leave to tide you over.
BJ: Food-- the number one import into Brian's mouth.
Me: .... what's the number two import?
BJ: You don't want to know. *long awkward silence* Dirt. The number two import to Brian's mouth is dirt.

I crave wood chips, Brian apparently eats dirt... we're a household of people suffering from pica.

It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Sugar Coma

Here is the dramatic unveiling of my first Daring Bakers Challenge: Caramel Cake with Caramelized Butter Frosting. Ta da!



I did not want this cake in the house, as the amount of butter in it is obscene and I really like caramel. I originally was going to cut the recipe in half and make cupcakes but I decided to take the cake to Thanksgiving dinner instead. It seemed like a good compromise, since that way I could bring a nice hostess gift and pawn off- I mean share- the near cup and half of buttery goodness with others. Cake travels better than cupcakes and since Joe and I were commuting about an hour to his family's house, cake it was. I apologize, no cupcakes after all this month. I'll have to make two cupcake recipes in December to make up for it. Twist my arm, I'll do it.

There are three components to the cake: the frosting, the cake, and the caramel syrup. Let's talk about the caramel syrup first since you'll have to make that first to use in the cake and the frosting. I started making this cake the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, mostly because I was going in to shadow a nurse anesthetist Wednesday morning and I was super excited about it. I love surgery and was giddy at the prospect at spending a whole day in the OR, I was like a kid on Christmas eve. So I made brown butter and caramel syrup to calm my nerves. What, you don't do that when you're stressed?

The caramel syrup recipe is very basic: you heat sugar and water in a pan and let it bubble away til it turns a dark amber, and then you stop the caramelization process by dumping in water. Then the mixture will spatter, covering everything within a 10 mile radius with caramel and if you're lucky, that 5 miles won't include any vital body parts.

No, it's not that scary. My oven is always filthy so while it did splatter, it wasn't awful and was an easy clean up. And I only burned my wrist a little! A big improvement from the pear-caramel incident.

A lot of the Daring Bakers were having trouble with the caramel but I've made caramel enough times to be pretty confident in making it. The trick is: don't mess with it. Stir the water and sugar together and after that don't touch it, you'll just mess it up and it will become a big crystallized mess. Check it constantly for color though, you need to watch caramel. Here's what mine looked like:


See this? Your caramel will hang out in that stage for seems like forever. Patience, friend. Leave it alone.













The second picture shows when the caramel begins to color around the edges: here's when you want to start watching it really closely. Stages 2-4 happen in a matter of minutes and if you're not careful, you'll scorch the caramel.









This is getting pretty dark: almost there, get your water ready!














This is what I judged 'dark amber' to look like. Here's where you dump in the water and hope that you survive.












If you do survive, here's what your caramel syrup will look like:


Pretty! Here's the official recipe:

CARAMEL SYRUP

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1 cup water (for "stopping" the caramelization process)

DIRECTIONS:

In a small stainless steel saucepan, with tall sides, mix water and sugar until mixture feels like wet sand. Brush down any stray sugar crystals with wet pastry brush. Turn on heat to highest flame. Cook until smoking slightly: dark amber.

When color is achieved, very carefully pour in one cup of water. Caramel will jump and sputter about! It is very dangerous, so have long sleeves on and be prepared to step back.

Whisk over medium heat until it has reduced slightly and feels sticky between two fingers. {Obviously wait for it to cool on a spoon before touching it.}

Note: For safety reasons, have ready a bowl of ice water to plunge your hands into if any caramel should land on your skin.
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See? I warned you. Caramel is serious stuff. I have scars on my toes to prove it from the pear incident. Joe made me wear shoes this time around. Apparently he should of had me wear mittens too since I burned my wrist. C'est la vie, I should just wear a full body suit when baking.

Now you can move onto the cake and frosting. Here's the cake recipe:

CARAMEL CAKE WITH CARAMELIZED BUTTER FROSTING

INGREDIENTS:

10 Tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/4 Cups granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 Cup Caramel Syrup (see recipe below)
2 each eggs, at room temperature
splash vanilla extract
2 Cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup milk, at room temperature

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350F

Butter one tall (2 – 2.5 inch deep) 9-inch cake pan.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream butter until smooth. Add sugar and salt & cream until light and fluffy.

Slowly pour room temperature caramel syrup into bowl. Scrape down bowl and increase speed. Add eggs/vanilla extract a little at a time, mixing well after each addition. Scrape down bowl again, beat mixture until light and uniform.

Sift flour and baking powder.

Turn mixer to lowest speed, and add one third of the dry ingredients. When incorporated, add half of the milk, a little at a time. Add another third of the dry ingredients, then the other half of the milk and finish with the dry ingredients. {This is called the dry, wet, dry, wet, dry method in cake making. It is often employed when there is a high proportion of liquid in the batter.}

Take off mixer and by hand, use a spatula to do a few last folds, making sure batter is uniform. Turn batter into prepared cake pan.

Place cake pan on cookie sheet or 1/2 sheet pan. Set first timer for 30 minutes, rotate pan and set timer for another 15-20 minutes. Your own oven will set the pace. Bake until sides pull away from the pan and skewer inserted in middle comes out clean. Cool cake completely before icing it.

Cake will keep for three days outside of the refrigerator.

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I took issue with this recipe. It's vague, for one. And the proportions just aren't right. There's way too much sugar, the granulated sugar and the caramel syrup, and 1/2 tsp of leavener in an entire cake is a ludicrously small amount. You put more leavener in pancakes, for goodness sake. Technically I'm not supposed to deviate from the assigned recipe but um, hypothetically I would cut down on the sugar by at least a 1/4 cup and would add 2 tsp baking powder instead of a measly 1/2 tsp.

I also browned the butter the night before and chilled it to add that delightful toffee taste to the cake. Just brown the amount of butter called for, chill until set and then use as directed.

Next up: frosting!

CARAMELIZED BUTTER FROSTING

INGREDIENTS:

12 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 pound confectioner’s sugar, sifted
4-6 tablespoons heavy cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2-4 tablespoons caramel syrup
Kosher or sea salt to taste

DIRECTIONS:

Cook butter until brown. Pour through a fine meshed sieve into a heatproof bowl, set aside to cool.

Pour cooled brown butter into mixer bowl.

In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle or whisk attachment, add confectioner's sugar a little at a time. When mixture looks too chunky to take any more, add a bit of cream and or caramel syrup. Repeat until mixture looks smooth and all confectioner's sugar has been incorporated. Add salt to taste.

Note: Caramelized butter frosting will keep in fridge for up to a month.
To smooth out from cold, microwave a bit, then mix with paddle attachment until smooth and light
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I cheated on this one as well. I had leftover buttercream frozen from the casatta cake and since it had all the components of the frosting ingredients, I dumped a bunch of it into a pan, browned it, and then whipped it with some powdered sugar and caramel syrup. Since I don't like American buttercream, mine was more of a caramel glaze than buttercream: I didn't add very much powdered sugar. But that suited me just fine.


To assemble, I cut the cake in half, drizzled caramel syrup over each layer, poured the glaze on top and then drizzled with more caramel syrup.I had left over maple cookie dough frozen so I made the rest of those for garnish (and snacking!). I was going to use royal icing to decorate the cookies but my powdered sugar supply was ravaged by this point. So I just glazed them with yet more caramel syrup to make them shiny and pretty and then stuck them on top.

Sugar coma much? I actually craved vegetables by the time I was finished making this.

The cake went over pretty well at Thanksgiving dinner. It was good but a small piece went a long way: this stuff is sweet. I would maybe make it for a caramel lovers birthday or something but other than that, it's too labor intensive and sweet to make very often. I did enjoy the first challenge though, bring on December's!

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Here's the standard blurb I have to post about who 'hosted' this months event: Shuna Fish Lydon of Eggbeater, who came up with the recipe (http://eggbeater.typepad.com/), Dolores (http://culinarycuriosity.blogspot.com/) , Alex (Brownie of the Blondie and Brownie duo: http://blondieandbrownie.blogspot.com/), and Jenny of Foray into Food (http://forayintofood.blogspot.com/). Natalie of Gluten-a-Go-Go (http://glutenagogo.blogspot.com/) for gluten free tips.


RECIPE SOURCE
Caramel Cake with Caramelized Butter Frosting courtesy of Shuna Fish Lydon (http://eggbeater.typepad.com/), as published on Bay Area Bites (http://blogs.kqed.org/bayareabites/). Shuna Fish Lydon’s recipe (http://blogs.kqed.org/bayareabites/2006 … he-recipe/)