Two Months Old: it really is a baby!

Two-month-old babies are fun because that’s when they become less leech-like and more humanoid. As I’ve told numerous people, it can be hard at first when your newborn has two settings: 1) inexplicably pissed off and 2) neutral.  Possibly three settings, if you count pooping. So when they starting smiling you’re like OH THANK GOD. Theo started smiling around Valentine’s Day, appropriately enough.

Here’s what I liked in month two:

1. Grass drying rack: Perfect for storing the nine billion bottles and bottle accessories you will have. And I breastfeed! I don't know what formula feeding moms do, lease a new house? Anyways, this thing is adorable, works well, and I can cram all of our bottle paraphernalia on it. Also you can buy little twigs and flowers to expand the storage. I die.

2. Piyo Piyo nail scissors: So nobody tells you that your newborn will have Wolverine-like claws and that one of your motherly duties will be giving the world’s tiniest, most terrifying manicures. I bought these scissors because they were cute but turns out they work way better than baby nail clippers. I tried the baby nail scissors but one time and was like NOPE, GOING TO CHOP OFF A FINGER. Get these instead.

3.     Boppy nursing pillow: I prefer this to the regular Boppy or My Brest Friend. It wraps around the body and has a flat, firm surface like the My Brest Friend but is cushion-y on the bottom. Most importantly, THE ENTIRE THING CAN BE WASHED. I really like the My Brest Friend but putting on the bizarrely shaped covers takes forever and is really tedious. Also, they named it MY BREST FRIEND, ugh. Pro tip: ditch the strap that comes attached to the boppy, it’s useless.

4.     Snugabunny swing: Oh swing, how I love you. Sometimes this is the only thing that will calm him down. He’s really good about sleeping in the cosleeper now but in early days, he preferred the swing. Just the other night he was fussing up a storm and fell asleep immediately when I desperately stuffed him in the swing. Also, now that he’s older he is pretty hypnotized by the mobile.

5.     Chux pads: I think I’ve mentioned that babies poop a lot. And pee a lot. And spit up a lot. I am intimately familiar with chux pads as a nurse, since that’s what all the hospitals use to protect surfaces from bodily fluids. One of my more brilliant ideas was to buy chux pads to use on the changing table. They make disposable “changing pads” but they are essentially just overpriced chux. These saved us so many clean ups, especially in the first couple of months when you have a poop machine masquerading as a baby.  Just roll ‘em up and throw them away when they get dirty. Pro tip: also good for new postpartum moms, where everywhere you go looks like a murder scene. I will spare you the details. Chux can be found in most drug stores, in the incontinence aisle. Parenting is so glamorous. 

One month favorites

 As per usual, I'm going to pretend that I am not in fact months behind blogging. Here were my thoughts on baby essentials in the first month:

1. Rock and play sleeper:  I received this at my baby shower from Joe’s stepmom. I’m glad I did, as I balked at the price and didn’t even register for it. Not because I couldn’t afford it but because I am fundamentally a cheap person. It took me like a month to buy a bottle of Tabasco sauce to keep at work because every time I saw it at the grocery store I was like, “Pfft, $5? I don’t really need it.” And then I would go to work and be like I WOULD KILL FOR HOT SAUCE.

Anyway, the first month my baby was a perpetually sleeping slug and this was great because it’s like a super portable bassinet. Theo sleeps great in it and I hear it is especially goods for babies with reflux. I still think it’s overpriced but it’s been incredibly useful. 

2.     Woombie: So swaddling is difficult to master but Theo seems calmer and sleeps better swaddled. Joe is reasonably good at it now but it was much easier for us to use cheater-swaddling methods like the Halo swaddle sack and this, the Woombie. Otherwise known as “the banana suit”, “the glow worm” and “the baby straight jacket”. I prefer the woombie because it’s stupid easy. You just shove your baby in it and zip it up. It has two zippers on it so you can zip it up from the bottom in order to change diapers without taking them out of it completely. Critical for middle of the night diaper changes, when you are holding your breath and trying so very hard to keep your sleeping baby asleep. GENIUS.

3.     Cloth diapers: I think these would make pretty terrible cloth diapers but they are fantastic burp cloths. They’re bigger, more durable and more absorbent any other burp clothes I’ve used. They’re not super cute but when your baby projectile vomits over his car seat, that is not your primary concern.

4.     Baby gowns:  It should be illegal to make any newborn clothes that have to be pulled over the head. Your baby hates it, you hate it, and you’re just going to have to change their outfit anyway. Also, you don't have the energy to put on a fancy-pants "real" outfit. Not going to lie, Theo has been in pajamas 99% of his life thus far. I especially like these gowns by Kicky Pants, they are super soft and easy to take on and off. Again, critical since your newborn will poop approximately every 72 seconds. And they’re cute so I don’t feel bad for putting him in them for the millionth time.

5. Lanolin: If you’re breastfeeding, get a tube of lanolin. I’ve had a fairly easy time          breastfeeding but the first couple of weeks are rough. Slather this on for the first couple of weeks and try to forget the fact that your enormous boobs are coated in sheep oil.